In Defense
by Jenny7
Summary: Lawrence will do whatever it takes to protect his family.  Lawrence/Adam & Diana.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own any of them….you know the drill.

Author Note: So I'm still working on my New York series, but this idea has been haunting me for a while now. Kind of a different take on what happened at the end of Saw I. Just a snippet for now but maybe something more in the future- if anyone is interested enough to read it, that is. :)

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><p>Lawrence has had enough.<p>

He cannot take another night of anticipation as he waits for Adam's horrific screaming to pierce the taunting silence as 2AM rolls around.

He cannot spend another evening coaxing Diana out from underneath her bed after she spots his stethoscope hanging around his neck.

He definitely cannot come home from a late shift to find Adam crouched on the floor of the closet holding a kitchen knife after the latest Jigsaw killings have been posted on the nightly news.

Lawrence cannot spend anymore nights wide awake and pacing between his and Adam's bedroom and Diana's room next door- examining the shadows for any sign of movement.

He simply cannot do it anymore.

The answer to all of this is made perfectly clear on one quiet night as he listens to Adam's light snoring to his left and Diana's soft breathing on his right. They both curl into his embrace to enjoy the last few moments of peace before the nightmares of raspy voices and beady eyed monsters begin.

Lawrence cannot allow his family to suffer this pain any longer. He decides that he must protect them, at whatever cost necessary.

If Lawrence is going to save his family, he will have to kill the man who has been killing them for the past year and a half – over and over again.

The terror doesn't stop after the chains come off. It stops when the guy holding the key is no longer able to reach the lock.

And as the memories of a dirty workshop in a rusted out warehouse have begun to return to him, he knows exactly how to do it. He recalls the miraculous moment when he stumbled out into the fresh air and away from the madman who held him captive as he became the patient to one of his own. Lawrence cringes at the memories, suppressed until just recently, and takes another look at the warm bodies sleeping tightly against him.

John Kramer saved Lawrence's life so that he would be like him – take over his legacy.

John had no idea what he was getting himself into.


	2. The After

Disclaimer: I do not own any of them. I've tweaked the Saw ending a bit to fit my preferences.

Author Note: Thanks for all the encouragement on this one. :) I'm really excited to write this! This chapter has some Adam/Lawrence angst and sets up the status of their relationship, but I'm hoping to center this story more on Lawrence's revenge on Jigsaw and making a more canon based ending for us Chainshippers and Saw lovers alike. Hope you enjoy and please review.

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><p>It is a Tuesday- likely a typical Tuesday for most of Los Angeles. The sun is shining, as it always does in LA, and the weather is mild. Commuters drive around in their expensive cars with the tops down and their radios blaring as they sport their brand name sunglasses on their way to work. It is a typical Tuesday for most.<p>

For Lawrence Gordon, it is not a typical Tuesday. This Tuesday is one of those days when Lawrence does not have to be at the hospital and does not even have to be on call. These days come few and far between and he cherishes them for what they are worth. This means breakfast with Adam and Diana and actually getting to drive Diana to school with Adam by his side, like the family they are supposed to be. After that and until 3pm, it is his and Adam's time. Some days they drive straight home, make love, and spend the entire day in bed. Other days, like today, they need to get away from the confines of their home. Lawrence drives them around the city and sometimes they stop somewhere and sometimes they just drive. This Tuesday they stop, at Adams bidding, when they reach the pier.

Adam unpacks his camera and surveys the area for potential shots. Lawrence stands back a few feet, looking on in silent observation. Adam hasn't looked so peaceful in a long time as he stares out at the lapping waves of the ocean coming in. It is rare when he takes pictures anymore. The camera has been left to gather dust in the corner of the closet and he refuses to unpack any of his photos from 'before', as they call it. Life in the 'after' is often dark and depressing and leaves no room for passions such as photography.

This is just another bullet point to add to the list of things that Jigsaw took away from him.

Just another reason for Lawrence to have the conversation he is dreading. He can lie expertly to anybody, but when it comes to Adam it is not so easy. He tells himself that it is all in Adam's and Diana's best interest. That is why he has to break his promise and lie to Adam.

"Adam…" He pauses and waits for the younger man to put down his camera and acknowledge him. Adam looks at him sideways as he focuses another shot of the ocean waves. "Adam, I have to go out of town for a few days."

This gets Adam's attention and he puts the camera down to meet Lawrence's eyes. The green gray eyes have a hint of sadness that has replaced the peaceful contentment that was so brief to begin with. Lawrence feels his stomach churn at the thought that he is responsible for this.

"Why?" His voice cracks slightly but he is trying to remain intact. They have never been without each other for more than twelve hours since….before. Lawrence leans against the railing of the pier and plans his words carefully.

"Just some business I have to take care of." He pauses and waits. Adam just nods in response. It is too passive of a response for Adam and this is not a good sign. "I was thinking that maybe you should go stay with your Grandma in San Diego while I'm gone. Diana is going to be with Ali anyway and…"

Adam turns abruptly back to the ocean. Here it comes. "I can take care of myself, Lawrence. I don't need a fucking babysitter." Lawrence sighs. Adam is stubborn and will never admit to needing help, even though he asks Lawrence for it every night without using words.

"I know. I just, I get worried when I'm not around for you and Diana. When I'm not around to…" He looks onto the ocean and tries to think of something to say that won't make Adam even more obstinate. Adam snaps back before he can respond.

"Around to what? Protect us?" Adam is looking at him now with eyes burning. "Lawrence, nothing can protect us. Nobody." He drops his camera and lets it hang from the strap around his neck. "I may as well have fucking rotted in that room."

Adam walks away from Lawrence and across the pier. Lawrence just looks on and suppresses the anger that is raging inside of him. He has to save it for the man responsible for all of this – the sick fuck who hurt the people he loves more than anything- more than his own life. More than his own foot.

When he has control of his emotions again, he begins to tail Adam until he finds him sitting on a bench not far away. They never go too far from each other, even when they are fighting. It is an unspoken agreement between them that he is now talking about violating. Adam has a right to be angry.

Despite this knowledge, he sits down on the bench and tries again.

"Adam….I…"

"Where are you really going?" This startles Lawrence and Adam stares right back at him with narrow angry eyes. "And don't fucking lie to me this time, man."

Lawrence shifts uncomfortably on the bench and sighs.

"I have to take care of something, Adam. It could potentially go very wrong and if it does I don't want you involved." It is several minutes later when he feels Adam's hand against his own. The smaller fingers entangle with his and he feels the warmth of Adam's skin heat his chilled appendage. He accepts the gesture and savors it.

"I'm already involved, Lawrence." Adam's voice is calmer now. He seems to have a sudden confidence boost as his eyes lock with Lawrence's. "Look man, you're the only thing I have left to lose anyway so you may as well just let me fucking help you." There is a pause in which Adam waits for him to respond. Lawrence doesn't know what to say, so he doesn't. "I can help. I really want to."

Lawrence squints. Adam's voice is similar to Diana's that time when she wanted to help him cook - even though the pan was too hot for her to touch. She touched it anyway and burned her hand so badly that he had to take her to the emergency room.

Adam can't be involved in this. He cannot stand by and watch Adam get burned.

He looks up at the hopefully gray eyes and breathes. This is going to be hard.

"I love you, Adam. Which is why I can't tell you anything else." Suddenly the warmth in his hand is gone. The gray eyes look away from his. It is the loneliest he has ever felt. He feels the need to add something. "Not until it's over anyway."

It doesn't help. Adam gets up and walks away. He walks all the way down the pier with Lawrence following not too far behind. He knows that Adam is aware of his presence as the younger man continues to glance back every so often, anger still etched on his face for emphasis.

Even in their worst of fights, they always look for each other.

The drive home is silent as is the rest of the afternoon. Adam camps out on the couch and watches TV and, every so often, Lawrence makes a point to go past the living room to retrieve a soda he is not really thirsty for. Adam makes his trips to the bathroom and passes Lawrence's office in silence. Their eyes catch and Lawrence knows that this is Adam's way of making sure he is still there.

The rest of the hours are spent working. Disguised in the piles of hospital paperwork are the plans to a familiar warehouse where he will find an old foe. There are also the designs of several traps that he has sketched from memory and the literature on numerous drugs that will, undoubtedly, kill an old and very sick man.

The pain, the lies, the silence. It will all be worth it when Jigsaw is dead. It will be worth it to see Adam sleep soundly for an entire night and wake up with a real smile the next morning. It will be worth it to hear about Diana's happy dreams instead of her nightmares of guns and closet monsters.

Murder in defense of those he loves is not murder. This, he knows to be true.


	3. Lesson One

Disclaimer: I do not own Lawrence or John Kramer or any of them. They all belong to the adorable Leigh and James.

Author Note: Thanks for all the great reviews so far! :) I really am having fun playing with sinister and devious Lawrence. He's almost as fun as adorable and sexy Lawrence. I don't usually write Jigsaw so I hope my portrayal of him is okay. Just kept trying to keep his voice in my head as I typed.

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><p>It's not so bad in the daylight. The sun reflects off of the brickwork and creates a spiral of light against the cluster of pine trees, which line the lot like guardians ready for battle. The few windows the building does have are either boarded up or just simply painted over with graffiti and in the distance there is nothing but fields of grass and trees and the occasional back road that nobody ever drives on. Somebody had come by since the last time he was here and made a mural of the very back wall. Where there were once old and crumbling bricks now is a picture of a runner finishing a race and throwing his satisfied fists into the air as his first foot nearly breaks the tape of the finish line. Underneath the man are two words.<p>

Almost there.

All of this paired with the beautiful sunset off to the left paints a picture of a peaceful and friendly neighborhood. It is a spot where he would normally feel content in bringing Diana to run around and play as he and Adam sit peacefully and watch from the trees nearby.

If he didn't know better that is.

If he didn't know of the wretched man waiting inside for him.

He fixes his sunglasses upon his face and reaches into his jacket for one last check. It's still there - the 9mm revolver he acquired shortly after he first parted from this man. It's not intended for Jigsaw, he won't be getting off that easy, but it is there for the same reason that he bought it one year before.

Protection.

Plus, he knows Jigsaw – or John rather. More importantly, John knows him. It is an intimate relationship that only a mentor and student can have. John knows that he won't come back empty handed.

Lesson number one- always protect yourself.

He zips his jacket back up and opens the car door. The walk to the warehouse door is longer than he remembers. His heart pounds harder the closer he gets but he wills it to slow and, eventually, it does. There is nothing to be done anyway as he is not turning back now. He has people counting on him to finish this, after all, and Lawrence Gordon never breaks a promise.

The door is unlocked and he swings it open with the ease of someone who has been here before. The creaking of the hinges is a familiar tune in his ears and memories start to flood his brain like the sunlight flooding the otherwise dark hallway. To his left is the wall light that constantly flickers. He used to wonder if John did that just for effect but soon realized that John didn't see the value in setting a scene. He believed that most people's lives were dark and dank enough without adding to the misery with props and artificial tactics.

Still, the echo of his footsteps on the cold concrete is a fast sign that he is now back in his own personal hell. He has announced his presence to his worst enemy and, as he turns the corner and slides the large steel door open, he confronts all of their demons in one felt swoop.

The plan has begun and his watch is ticking. In 48 hours John Kramer will be dead.

"Dr. Gordon, may I say what a pleasure it is to make your acquaintance once again."

The voice is as cold and dead as it was the first time he heard it over a tape recorder in a dirty bathroom. The man matches the same description. He has lost weight since their last encounter and it is clear that the cancer is winning in this battle. His complexion is stone cold white and some of his hair has grown back in strings across his forehead. He hunches over a workbench where he is threading a wire into a metal piece using his magnified drugstore glasses and a pair of sharp tweezers. He doesn't even look up when Lawrence walks in. It is as if he has been expecting him for the last year and a half.

"Hello John, wish I could say the same." He keeps his voice low and waltzes in like he owns the place. He could have at one time. The table where John works is crowded with pieces of metal and wire and a package of razor blades just recently acquired from the hardware store – this fact given away as the price is still attached. Lawrence moves forward and picks up one of the pieces, examining it in mock interest.

This gets John's attention and he looks up from his creation.

"My latest design. It's still in the testing stages but I have high hopes that it will be effective." John pauses to stand and gives an audible sigh of pain. He turns towards the wall behind him and pulls down a grid sheet filled with his own scribbles. Lawrence calms his heart one more time as John approaches the table again and slides the design into his field of vision. They make eye contact briefly and he holds his ground. "I'm sure as a brain surgeon you are aware of the wonders of brain herniation, Dr. Gordon."

Lawrence examines the design and tries to hide his own disgust at the prospect set before him. It is a machine that will, essentially, pull the brain stem out of the skull entirely. It is grotesque and torturous even on paper. He looks from the design to the parts and back to the design again. Putting on a confident smile, he speaks.

"You know me so well, John. Is this my welcome back present?" He fingers the design and, as his fingers touch the cold metal of the table, a pain bursts through them like fire and travels up his arm and through his body. The next thing Lawrence knows he is down on the floor and leaning against a wall. By shaking his head he forces himself to recover and he quickly reaches into his jacket and pulls out the preset weapon.

And there they stand, teacher and student, weapons drawn and ready for battle.

It doesn't happen though, as Lawrence predicted. John smiles in the creepy way he always does and even lets out a gravelly chuckle.

"I see you haven't forgotten your first lesson." He pauses and displays a remote control that had been hiding in his frail hand. Using his thumb, he flips the top open and hits a red button. "You've missed a lot in the last year and half, doctor."

Lawrence smiles back, even though all he really wants to do is punch the old man, and slowly uses the wall to stand. He drops his gun hand just enough so that it will still be a threat if necessary.

"Electrified table. I'm impressed." He leans down, keeping his eye on the madman the whole time, and picks his cane up from the floor. Casually, he brushes his pants off and puts his weight back on the cane again. Deciding he needs to portray the confidence of a killer, Lawrence places the gun back into the his jacket. "So, enough with the small talk. You know why I'm here, John."

The old man smiles again and nods in response. He makes his way towards the table again and begins to fiddle with the now displaced pieces. "If my assumptions are correct, you are here to take over the family business before dear old daddy retires."

Lawrence smiles to himself. He has him now. The first phase of the plan is complete.

"Correct as usual." He pauses for emphasis. "That is, unless dear old daddy has written his lost son out of his will…" Their eyes connect again. He strives to return the sinister glare that is so easily thrown from John's eyes. This is a look that does not come natural, and he has never been more grateful for it.

There is silence before John replies but, when he does, it is in his usual way -with a question, not an answer.

"Tell me, Dr. Gordon, are you ready for our final game?"


	4. Lesson Two

Disclaimer: I do not own Adam, Lawrence, Amanda, or John. But sometimes I like to control them for 1200 words or so.

Author Note: Can't believe I finally got this chapter out! This writer's block has been killing me. I apologize now to all of the Amanda lovers out there – I hope I did her character justice, as this is only my second attempt at writing her. Practice makes perfect, right? Gosh I hope so. Please review!

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><p>He has been assigned the duty of perfecting the device. It is drab and dull and, if he had actually aspired to being a serial killer, would have been the most disappointing appointment. John has been busy researching his latest victim and, though it really doesn't matter, Lawrence still fishes to find out who it might be. If he can save a life by killing John Kramer than he is happy to do it and he is certain that, whoever the intended victim is, they do not deserve what John is about to do to them.<p>

"Find anything promising yet?" Lawrence asks from across the room, where he is tightening the mechanism that will puncture a hole in the victim's cranium. He tightens it with a purpose, as John seems to be observing him more than usual.

"I believe there is someone who will fit our needs." He flips through some papers and scatters them across the table until one happens to fly off and make its way to the cold concrete floor. Looking up from his work, Lawrence hesitates for a moment before he reaches down for the sheet.

"Dominic Thompson." He reads the blurb written next to the oversized photograph of a young man with perfectly styled reddish hair and dark sunglasses that cover his eyes. He is with a younger woman and appears to be handing her a drink. "Twice accused of poisoning and attempted sexual assault however was never convicted." Lawrence looks up from the floor to see John looking down at him from beneath his spectacles.

"The women, mysteriously, recant their testimony before he can be charged. I suspect he may have something to do with that."

Lawrence stands with the help of his cane and continues to stare at the photo. "As do the police I'm sure." There is something off about this, though. Lawrence squints against the photo before looking back up at his nemesis. "No offense John, but this seems beneath you. Just another amateur rich kid trying to get his rocks off."

John's eyes immediately shoot back up to Lawrence as he stands from his stool at the table and removes his glasses. His legs are weak and move slowly but he gives himself a moment to regain his balance before gathering the rest of the photographs together. He continues to look down at the table as he speaks.

"I'm certain, Dr. Gordon, that the innocent women who suffered at the hands of this so-called amateur would disagree with you." His voice is the same gravely calm that it always is and Lawrence makes his ways towards the older man to return the stray photograph.

"How is your daughter, Larry? What is her name, again?" The female voice echoes throughout the large concrete room as Amanda strides in – leather boots up to her knees and a skirt barely long enough to cover herself. Her bright red top is low cut and meant to attract those who would be interested. When she reaches John, she grabs onto his arm like a child to a father and hugs it. "Oh that's right, Diana. Just like the princess."

His blood boils beneath his skin at the mere mention of her name. Lawrence has to fight to control himself and remain calm and collected. Amanda is testing him. He has to remain strong. Swallowing the bitterness that floods his throat, he retorts.

"Amanda. I see you haven't changed at all." He pauses and walks around the table, tracing his fingers along the cold metal as he goes. "And if you mention my daughter's name one more time I will use this cane in ways not even your dealer has thought of."

She simply laughs at this and releases John's arm to pull her dark hair out of its stationed pony tail.

"Now that would be hot. Too bad you like the boy's cause I do like playing doctor."

"Enough, both of you." John intervenes as he turns around and picks up the plans for the machine they are currently constructing. "We have work to do and not much time before our game begins."

Amanda's eyes quickly become angry as she looks from one man to the other.

"Fine. If you don't want to discuss her maybe we can discuss another friend of yours. Our adorable little Adam. You two are awfully close considering you're John's apprentice and he tried to kill him..."

"Amanda…." John warns and she continues to look at him with rage. Lawrence stands across the table and observes, trying not to react.

"John they fuck like gay little rabbits! How can you trust someone who fucks your enemy?"

Lawrence looks down at the table and tries his best to hold everything in. He hadn't taken into account that they would know about he and Adam. He had assumed they were safe in their little condo in the haven of the city. He had thought he was protecting them there. Now the tables have turned and, it seems, he is not the only one in danger anymore. Brainstorming, he tries to figure out what to do next as his real self and the brainwashed thoughts of murder do combat in his head. He could just take out that gun and kill them both right now -he could do that. The problem with that idea, though, is lesson two.

A man should die in the same way that he lived.

Suddenly, John slams his hand down on the table, calling the attention of both of his counterparts. Amanda is silenced and Lawrence looks on, awaiting whatever comes next. When John does speak his voice is calm and contained. "Amanda, go."

She looks on in horror and shock and gestures emphatically towards Lawrence. "Me? You want me to go? John, look at him! He's here to kill you!"

John looks up with eyes brimming in self-contained rage. "Go, now." There is a short pause where Amanda takes a deep breath to prevent the tears that are forming. Lawrence just looks on, trying to hide his surprise at the unfolding events. "This game is between Dr. Gordon and I."

She locks eyes with John for a drawn out moment before turning towards the door. She turns backs halfway and Lawrence see's her rage as she points her finger in his direction. The tears are streaming down her face as she speaks.

"Hurt John, and I will come for him. And this time I will make it painful…and he won't get out alive." The wall of control is crumbling fast and Lawrence feels the blind rage cloud his vision. Reaching into his jacket he feels the cold steel of the gun in his inner pocket. Just a slight pressure on the trigger, that's all it would take.

Instead, he lets her go.

Later, he would excuse himself from John's presence and find her at her usual drug den. It's the place where she goes to shoot up whenever she and John have a fight. He found her there once and was sworn to secrecy as she assumes that John doesn't know she still does drugs.

She's wrong. John knows everything.

From there, all it takes is to find her dealer and slip him an extra hundred-dollar bill on the condition that he add a dose of cyanide to her stash.

A man should die in the same way that he lived.

Just like that, Adam and Diana are safe again.

He is protecting his family. That is, after all, what he is here for.


End file.
